It's a Friday night and I'm home alone. What do I do? Why I call up all my homies and say, "What's crackin' yo? We should go catch a flick or cause mischief or something..."
That was a lie. I go get some movies, a pizza, and some Mt Dew and settle in for a night of solitary splurging. Half a pizza later I'm thinking that was not such a good idea, because that hot 'n' ready pizza did not agree with me.
I'm ok with being by myself, I really am. Sure, you feel a little ridiculous for laughing so hysterically at a movie when you're by yourself, but nobody is there to mock you. And I usually laugh harder because I think that me laughing this hard by myself is kind of funny, don't you?
I think that having time by yourself is healthy. This last year I was constantly around people, which came back and kicked me in the pants this summer. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I wouldn't trade any of our crazy random adventures for anything. I miss them like crazy. But I can't help but think that if I'd taken some time to be by myself I wouldn't have been so miserable in New York, or in Lehi.
Moral of the story? Be alone sometimes! No, you don't necessarily have to eat lousy pizza in order to do it. I would recommend a hike or some equally healthy option, anything to get some of that alone time to figure out who you are. Heaven AND Hell both know I've had plenty of time this summer to do that, and I didn't necessarily like who I saw.
I've learned a lot about myself recently and I like to think that I've been able to use that knowledge to be a better, more confident person. My faith is stronger, I'm making new friends down here and I have two jobs, one of which I actually enjoy!
I had no intention of going to spiritual side of things here, but here goes. I do have a testimony of Christ's love for us, I've felt that love more in these past few months than I have in my entire life. Even in your darkest hours, you're never alone and he's just waiting for us to reach out for him. He loves us more than we'll ever know or even be able to comprehend and I don't acknowledge him nearly as often as I should. He's got my back and I know he's got yours as well. Talk to him, I know he listens.