At Your Expense

I try and go play soccer on Thursdays with some people I've recently met. It's kind of a hit or miss because I work so much, but last Thursday I was able to make it. You know those days where it seems that everything is a joke at your expense? Well....

There I was! Pulling into the parking lot of the BYU men's rugby pitch (this is where we usually play because one of the guys has access to turn the lights on or something like that) ready to play some soccer. I had brought my good friend Erika to play with us. Well it looked like a men's rugby match had just finished because there were a plethora of men in short shorts and no shirts walking to their cars. Is it not natural that I would admire this feast for the eyes that had been laid before me? So I was drooling over and objectifying these ruggers while pulling into my parking space when OUT OF NOWHERE jumps this fence! Luckily, I have mad ninja skills and didn't hit it too hard. Really, you'd think by now that fences had learned not to jump out in front of moving vehicles...

Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway) the people who saw me/heard me run into this fence had themselves a good laugh. Including my good friend Erika. I sat there in my car, holding my head in shame and didn't even want to get out to check on my car until everyone had left. After about two minutes of shameful head hanging and embarrassed blushing (that's right, blushing!) I heard a knock on the driver side window. It was one of the rugby players. I was sure he was here to mock me to my face and I was fully prepared to disembowel him. No, I didn't have a knife on me. I was going to use my bare hands of course! Amateurs. I rolled down my window, not letting any sign of this poor unfortunate's doom show on my face.

"You guys ok?" He asked. Uhhhhhh....ok I guess I don't have to disembowel him. We assured him we were fine, made some polite chit chat and he left. Who knew there were rugby players out there who aren't obnoxious schmucks all the time?

The night continued as a big joke at my expense. Whenever I touched the soccer ball it had some sort of negative magnetism to the goal, pwned by one of my own teammates and was thrown into a dumpster (but it's ok, it was just full of sand).

So yeah, every time I turned around I was getting laughed at or picked on for something or other. It could have been embarrassing and miserable, but it was too funny for me not to laugh at myself. Even ninjas have their off days I guess.